The Fever of Phineas

the first shower
after days of it
it feels like it will never be enough
not enough water, too much water
more soap please
not hot enough
the water you soaked in for days
it has a film, it has teeth, it grips you and infects you
this shower water lacks any strength
it's far too congenial
it will take a dozen more showers
to feel clean
you open your eyes and your arm is brown
that's OK, that's normal, you think
you close your eyes and the brown is a grey black green
it crawls up your skin
it drips down your skin
the warm street water
the stale humid street air
you close your eyes and her dead face smirks
her wet bloated face, laughing, forever laughing